Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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