Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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