i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
