I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
