I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
