I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
