I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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