i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
