Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize