I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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