And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
