Me too!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize