State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
A bitchslap is in order.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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