sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
