the new term for farting is butt boxing.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
