he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
