with your own penis?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
