haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
