Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
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nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
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Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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