How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
