I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
