i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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