When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
