Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
