he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
