a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
