shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
