I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
