Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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