Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
