Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
