therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
