walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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