No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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