I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
