woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
