her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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