Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
