my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
