I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
