Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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