You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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