This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
