Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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