At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
