all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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