Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
