Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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