I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
