Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
