jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize