I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
