Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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