Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
