hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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