ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
