dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
