my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
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Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
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Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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