Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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