Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize