party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
