Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Can you bring me the toilet please
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
