I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I see more hoeing in ur future
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