i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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