i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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